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It was a discrete advertisement, in selected places, but the news spread like wildfire. There were ten million initial applications, so we could afford to be quite selective. My staff limited the offer to Americans because I like people who share my language and culture and the security concerns were less. From the initial applications my staff studied the pictures and showed me hundreds of possible candidates they thought I might find attractive. They learned my preferences pretty quickly and applied them. At that point we had 40,000 candidates that I found gorgeous. There was plenty of other screening: personal health, family health history, decent intelligence, personality, security clearance, and an essay on why the candidate wanted the job.All that winnowing left 1,000 candidates, who came in groups to the new facility at Sperm Central for further study and interviews. One of the most notable screening areas was sexual attitude and performance. These women had to have strong. ”“Me too.” (Pause) “I wished it had happened.”“What?”“Yea. I wished that f----ing dog had f----d me. It’s been driving me insane.”“Wow!”“Damn. You’re disgusted aren’t you? Shocked.”“Shocked. But not disgusted. (Pause) Pleased. You’re my girl”“You’re OK. With it? You don’t think I’m a pervert?”“No. I think you’re the sexiest gal in the world.”My heart stopped beating. I was so relieved.“Can you fix something up. Do you know anyone?”“Laura, darling. Let me come clean. You were set up. We let the dog in on the boat to see what would happen. We hoped you would – er – you know. I thought you might go for it and we all hoped you would. We all wanted to see you f----d by the dog. But you reacted so violently against it we rushed in and stopped it.”“You bastards!” I said But I was smiling to myself. “you should have primed me and let me think about it. I probably would have said ‘yes’. I know damn well I would have. Damn. Can you fix something up again.”“Not with that dog. He’s been fixed..
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